It means that I cannot plan for something in the immediate future especially in the holidays, I cannot commit to something when it's not school time because I've spent enough time away from home already, in school. And so I apologise for not accepting all the calls to be facilitators, station masters for all your events. Yeah I would so love to but I would really be have more peace at mind if I could stay at home and help Mak bring Ilhan to the toilet, clean him up when he poo poos, fold the clothes, sweep the floor and have time to read the massive growing list of books that I don't have time to read when it's semester time. I would also rather catch up with the friends that (I'm really sorry to say this) who I so love and adore but have no time or emotional strength for them unless in immediate emergencies during semester time.

But I have no right to be jealous, because this is my blessing and I feel truly blessed. I don't have to be jealous. It's a disease of the heart. The only thing I feel sometimes is burdened. Because the larger society doesn't really understand the importance of being with a family. It's not something to be proud of and there is no tangible economic value attached to it. This is sad. Because the development of members of society all start with good support system from the family.

So, believe it when I say, time is the most expensive thing I can spend on anyone.