<body>
Reflection for Semester 1, Year 1
11:06 PM Friday, November 26, 2010


These are the mistakes that have cost me extra work and effort to overcome. The friction in a smooth sailing uni life. I have reflected on those mistakes and hereby present my reflections on how I can improve for the next semester and what works best for me.

1. I shall print my lecture notes and understand what shall be covered before coming for lecture.

2. If shall speed-read my readings only after the lecture and accompanied by my lecture notes. This will take 2h. I will filter out the important bits as per the 80/20 rule and summarise them. I will then make a mind map of each lecture content. This will take max 2 hours after the lecture. I must sit somewhere and finish this. I can only let myself be distracted by my iPhone in a 25-5min rule. My iPhone's functions has been missing for the whole of Sem 1 so now I will again make spending $500 on this phone, worth it. N mb I should put Airplane mode sometimes.

3. I will understand everything taught that week by Friday.

4. If possible I will arrange lectures to be in the beginning of the week and tutorials at the end. Tutorials must be after lectures.

5. I need to eat healthier. I really don't like school food with the exception of Science sandwiches.

6. I need to study in an aircon place.

7. I will never choose a module like Space Time Matter ever. :(

8. I dunno what to do about group projects. It's a mystery how to score in this segment.

9. Individual assignments have been fine.

10. I will have to do tutorials more dilligently. Really understand concepts before I go in tutorial.

11. Prepare a file for each module.

12. Preparing a weekly plan has worked for me greatly. Keep that up! ~~

13. Print/save in Evernote/Stanza the breakdown of components and percentage pegged to the component. No I think putting this up on my wall will be better so I know where to distribute my efforts.

14. Exercise more per week.

15. Wake earlier because those who wake late has lost a lot of time.


Now, I feel like that period in Pre-U 2 where I wanted classes to end and the long study break before A levels to start. Yeah I want to re-do my semester and make it better. Because there were so many frivolous things that I did not have to commit myself to. Yeah. One semester is a dead on state of focus in a concentrated period of 4 months. Though seniors and the experienced staff do tell me that Year 1 is the most difficult year as it is the year of transition, it takes your own experience to really understand what it is like. As I feel like a dump now that my last STM paper is a confirmed cap-puller in the direction of the negative y-axis, there is nothing I can do except reflect and remind myself not to do this again. I cannot emphasise on how module choice is important and that sometimes the ability to score in a module > the desire to take a module out of intellectual interest. However, a senior has said that module does not clash with your schedule and you really want to sit in lectures, you can email the professor and ask nicely.

N I can't take learning a language right now.



___

I wished I could do more. HBTUD...




Mirroring the interdisciplanary discipline.
11:54 PM Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Dear Chingu,

isn't it time that you accepted reality and try to make things the same as before? try to get along just for the sake of friendship especially when you've been so tight all these years? Isn't it time you're ok that fate didn't put him and you together? Even if it was your destiny, just to let it go and accept what the present situation is so that the larger group can be happy together as a bunch of friends? isn't it better to concentrate on yourself, on your own development rather than to mourn for things that could have been? isn't it better to smile and be friends rather than to avoid the situation altogether by not attending gatherings?

but then. i understand. i understand how it feels. just as i wanted to ask you how you felt i knew it myself. but the difference is, in your case, you can't not avoid the situation. and in my case. i can. so which one is better? which is less painful?

Come chingu. tell me.


In most cases, you cannot undo what you have done.
In this case, it's not a perfect symmetry.
It may be so easy to silently go
but it's not as easy to silently return.
Those footsteps that you think thread softly
Across the digital fabric of 1s and 0s.
Resonate across the strings within me.
Silently.
Vibrating but there's no sound.

In a highly contextual society. One's face
is important. We are an Asian society.
Maintaining harmony.
Saving your face and mine.
I shall be that hero.
Who swallows it all.
To take care of you, I did it all.
Without a second thought.

There are domains in the cloth of spacetime.
where the curvature is stable and can be tolerated
but other than that you appear to be
a gravitational singularity.



such an inter-disciplinary outpour of emotions.




desire
3:26 AM Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Times like this I
Want

Want you so badly.


Ah but it was all
A
Dream.

Was it even real.

Reality has made this irrelevant.
Redundant.

I can't believe all the things that happened.
They were magic.

Magic.




ikea halal food.
12:24 PM Thursday, November 11, 2010


Hello.

There are now halal meatballs in Ikea. I tasted it. It's nice. Not the meatballs only though. The sauce is the nicest thing on the plate. But I heard reviews that it doesn't taste as nice as the pork ones. Why can't we eat pork? The standard answer is always: Muslims think it's unclean. Well there are wisdom that is contained in the past that has been forgotten due to many factors but who knows what they are. It may be urbanisation, trying to make more money out of the little things that you have, famine drought and so on. But Christians of the past didn't eat pork too. And the reason is here.

The chicken wings that always looks so unbelievably good just because i love chicken and i love wings and therefore i love chicken wings ( allright no consequential link) even though I eat it only sparingly for health reasons, also comes in the halal version.

Thank you Ikea for the initiative. Thank you to the brothers and sisters who have been pushing for it. haahha. Customers are always right.






11:21 PM Wednesday, November 10, 2010


When I looked at my prom photos, I realised how much weight I lost since then. WOW.




you say i should wear more colour? feat. bricolage
9:30 PM Tuesday, November 9, 2010


Allright, I think this year in the (fashion) world, it's been quite nice for people who like modesty. Maxi dresses don't look like it's going anywhere.. in fact it has transferred to maxi skirts! & now fall & winter are coming so there's a lot of clothes that cover up.... good for hijabis all around! WOOH.



skirt, dress

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lb69zmh8aW1qc9kkvo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1289396522&Signature=hub4FLERBtgp98XEBgWWqx69aZU%3DI love this dress. I love the colours. I’m so inspired.. should I make a dress like this??


& a lot of YUNA

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lb2j26RxEH1qc9kkvo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1289394807&Signature=rFxJm8JZf5II1keCvauZYQe6Yww%3Dhttp://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lauycsQOK91qc9kkvo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1289397280&Signature=0oSUERu0xMEQJ%2FmJhWDX3YMY03g%3Dhttp://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_laxn6chh071qc9kkvo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1289397312&Signature=4VEaF9rrBWcRVaVRUNg5hp2H0x0%3D


& Michael Kors.

love this wraparound thingamajig!

& this is from Maysaa. I really like the tone of the photo.
Maysaa


& an illustration..!

So cute!!

Ah Fall is a nice time. It's a nice time. It's cool and lots of modest-y clothes abound. Good things happening to me lately. Alhamdulillah. Hope that it will continue. & I do Feel very productive in school !


I do not know the sources of the above pictures. This is an example of bricolage and remediation, concepts that you shall learn in NM1101e: Communications, New Media and Society. I reaaaally love the new media part which is all we learn in this module. :D :D :D Bah. I just hope it will be okay! There's so many interesting things to learn about the world! k i have 2 more exposure modules to take.. (one regret: shouldn't have taken english language under humanities. should have taken Lit instead)

Had a talk with my tutor who had an undergrad education in Lit in India, but is tutoring me for nm2201 Intercultural Comms. She said the NUS lit dpt is v good, but exposure modules might get boring. I really have an idea of what I want to do but it's just... so... vague! hahahaha :D I don't know what I want to major in but New Media is so v interesting!!!! But I'm scared I'll miss learning the humanities, learning about how humans try to decipher, to express, to craft, to figure out, what being human is about. I really do miss that. Only thing I can do is to take more lit-like modules for my USP modules? yeah?

Have I told you? I miss these guys. Are they really coming back in November?




It will take all evening.

It will take all evening, my dear
It will take all evening, my dear
To forget this incredible year

It will take all evening, my dear
It will take all evening, my dear
To get over our failure.

It will take all evening, my dear
To mourn over this past year.

It will take a lifetime, my dear
So as lifetime will not be ours
We should not be here.

-Yuna Zarai





10:22 PM Monday, November 8, 2010


SPF-Lee Foundation 1.5K! ! ! ! Alhamdulillah!

Spend wisely!!!

wah... so far i've gotten 3K in study awards frm family and govt!!! bah! i've used up some already...maaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn. need to keep in seperate bank acct this one. Hhaha.. I'll accidentally spend it on shopping or something! :/


[nearly a year... you know?]




the artist who cared
10:24 PM Saturday, November 6, 2010


in an effort to understand herself.
in an effort to make herself better.
in an attempt to make full use of her time.
in an attempt to make her money worth it.
she thinks she's driving people away.
but she can't help it.
she thinks she needs a break from the frivolous
the fake
the shallow
the crude
the loud
the beat
the story
she misses that old soul company
she misses that guardian
there's too many
she doesn't know who to choose
24 hours a day
time becomes something valuable
she becomes mono-chronic.
she learns to make decisions quicker
(not that before she didn't)
she learns to break out of that mentality.
(not that she was in it before)
she learns to become more insensitive
because she was too sensitive before.
she learns to push things away
because she cared too much before.
caring too much
eats up her time
caring too much
burns her energy
"would they do the same for you?"
that thought never entered her thoughts before
until someone voiced it out
she did it out of pleasure
to make others happy
she had avenues before
to make that one happy
but it went into isolation
and so she didn't have any avenue
nor street
nor road
nor lane
to put her creativity and care and thoughts and energy
into
she's tired of caring too much
and she believes she's changing
and she doesn't think that there's much to lose anyway
she's tired of leading
she's tired of starting
when she's hurt
her face doesn't show it
because she's trained her face to be still.
only one face.
all the time.

this time is not to care too much about others
you must care
but just enough
no calculations
because you cared too much.
stop caring.
this time is to care about yourself
as much as it sounds selfish
it's the reality
it's the reality


she needs time to make money.
drive to isolation
she has to craft.





2:40 AM


Dear Safiah,

Jangan perasan.




I realise your purpose.
1:48 AM


You came to make me stronger. You came to help me believe in myself. You came to push me so that I would strive for more. You came to fill in those hunger pangs. You came to strengthen my weakness. You came to help me adjust. You came to be my partner in indulging new food. You came to rekindle my creativity. You came to help me realise my purpose in life. You came to correct my ways. You came to push me towards The Most Merciful One. You came to help me improve my communication skills, improve my rationality. You came to uncover more weaknesses in me that I must now work upon. You came to improve yourself. You came to listen to my possibilities.



Hope you won't think you have no place in my life. Life & soul are to be treasured.




the things i tell myself
10:32 PM Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Whatever you don't like in other people is because you don't want that quality to be in yourself.

I don't like that you're playing and juggling.
I don't like that I feel like I always have to take care of you like a porcelain vase.
I don't like that you don't take more things up.
I don't like that you're not being independent.
I don't like that you can't remember what I said last week, & the week before... when they're the same answers to the same questions.
I don't like that you go back on your words.
I don't like that you don't even try to understand me.
I don't like that I always help you, but you don't help me.
I don't like that you don't think I have ups and downs.
I don't like that you don't ask about me, about my life. I think you think my life is problem-free. though I do try to achieve that, it is of course, a struggle.


You've chosen this life. Suck it up. oh & can you please make up your mind. & not judge before you know the proper answer.

Wow that's a lot of qualities I don't want in myself.






NURsa
30031991



<3 chocolates
<3 family
<3 friends
<3 balloons
<3 presents
<3 sleeping
<3 surprises!
<3 good design
<3 poetry
<3 great stories
<3 looking at the stars
<3 patterns: houndstooth floral, plaids/checkered
<3 colours:purple,pink,brown,grey,black
<3 pearls
<3 pure lace
<3 bracelets
<3 Korean everything (almost) !




MOVIE WISHLIST
1. Sepet
2. Gubra
3. Mukhsin
4. Muallaf
5. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
6. Nick and Norah's Playlist
7. The Day The Earth Stood Still
8. Wildchild
9. Lars and the Real Girl
10. Sandcastle

BOOKS TO READ
1. The Age of Innocence by Edith Warton
2. Letters To A Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke
3. The History of Love: A Novel by Nicole Krauss






Base Code by Jacquelyn
Layout by Nur Safiah
Picture by Deviantart