I feel really low.
But I want answers also.

Youngest bro didn't get into the school of his choice. Mum is devastated. Dad just shrugs and says: "You're sad? What to do, move on"

When we received news that his vision is not perfect. "I blame myself for weekdays. I blame all of you for weekends. I'm not getting support from all of you". I sigh too.

Sometimes I feel like, whaddaheck I should not aspire to work and just cook clean and take care of the house so that Mak can work. Sometimes I feel like I should be the maid. But I know that I can earn more than Mak can. And she should stop working soon. My dad is gna retire soon. So how? At this age, their retiring age, they should be able to retire right? They can be considered young parents but still, it's the second wave of parenthood for them, and it's tiring. Just looking a them, I don't want to have a baby of my own immediately after I get married.

But I know that in Singapore, I can't not work. The economy needs all the people it can get. Plus, things are just not getting any better.

There has to be a way I can juggle everything and do everything well. THe first source for an answer is Allah.

So now, my career goal, is to find something so that in the future, I can have some balance.

And I hope I will get a more supportive husband.

Ilhan is really a trial for us all. I hope we can pass it.

And I have an ulcer at that muscle which connects your tongue to the base of your mouth. It hurts. But not as bad as that ulcer on the side of my tongue. That was really bad.

I am currently a servant of Allah, daughter, a sister, a student. My job is to help my family, and be a good student. 

I got a call today, after waiting for about a week, from one of the global PR agencies, WE.

A phone call interview.

My first phone call interview.

It's weird because I have to be formal in an informal setting- my home. I am wearing my home clothes. And that has got to be the first time I responded in an interview without my tudung. It was really weird.

When she called, I was excited. I forgot to ask her how she was doing, has she recovered from her sickness. The starting was just, "Hi this is Safiah speaking" "Should I call you Nur or Safeyya or Nur Safeya?" "You can call me Safiah". Also the voice quality wasn't that good. It's like when she stopped talking, it almost felt like there was no one on the other side of the line.

I think it's because telephone conversations stopped being in fashion that I might have forgotten what talking to someone over the phone is like, which made me nervous about talking to someone over the phone. I get nervous when I need to talk to H. It didn't use to be like this. Previously I could talk for hours with Mu and S .

So she asked me pretty good quesions: Why did you choose to study Communications & New Media? and Do you know what a PR agency is?

The first one threw me off. For me it was a natural choice. But I think I have to dedicate some time to rethinking again, why I chose to study CNM, instead of SEA. Something that I am still grappling to understand. I should have said something about PR. Ah I should have said: In NUS, I get to study a range of courses which helps me to deal with all aspects of Communications. PR & Journalism. UGHRHHHHH~

She then described the internship position that they were looking for, they wanted specifically someone to help with the Healthcare PR department. I told her while I have no experience with Healthcare, I have experience writing press releases. And hopefully my CV will speak up for running events.

Anyway, the qualities for the intern that she was looking for would be those who had the following:

Good clear communication skills, strong writing, knowledge about PR, bonus are if they know about healthcare industry and have digital exposure.