21. To find my place

10:48 PM Tuesday, October 19, 2010

You don't have to act like that, shutting people out. It's not the choice of not letting people know, it's just your demeanor: it's quite a turn off. This is what I have to say. Through those words, that's what I wanted you to learn. I just know that you need it. That's why I gave you that bundle of words, hoping you would learn and not think that you're lonely, that is but a mere inner construction. Somehow, you're becoming too dependent on that one and you're really forgetting the many. The many who hurt because you don't think, or if you do, only for yourself. But since the many take it with a pinch of salt, and since they think that this is the way you behave anyway, you are you going to depend on when there really is a crisis?
___

I can't remember if I sacrificed a lot in J1 for the other, but at that time, what I had at hand was not that important.

The value of all things change over time. Like the stock market.

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1:02 PM Sunday, October 10, 2010

I think I long for something deeper.

What should I do? Take Lit instead?

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lessons reiterated

11:36 PM Saturday, October 9, 2010

1. work hard play hard

2. network

3. surround myself with like-minded people

4. plan for the week during weekends and plan for the day.

I need that inspiration board again.

Ok la my Digital Divide group project did okay. My mid-term passed but like... err~ dunno lah, they say depend on bell curve. I think my STM test going to go down the drain. Might fail it. But.. Group Project better do well!!!!

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YEEKEEYAAA

1:17 AM

Hello Ikea,

I haven't seen you for a long time. I need to buy somethings from you so that my room will look nicer. But other than that, I miss walking through your aisles seeing new stuff, imagining them in my room and touching the pillows and the new cups, the curtains and the toys. I miss sitting in each display room, pretending that that room is in my house. I miss sitting on the bed, pretending it's my bed. I miss walking through the walk-in wardrobe wishing I had one like that in my room.

Ah well. My time is so little now I have no time yet to visit you. I will soon thought, because my heart keeps thinking of you. I really want to see you. I like how you smelt. You smell of new things. And of Swedish things. You smell of letters that had extra symbols on them. You smell of wood. Especially you smell of wood.

I think I want to buy a cork noticeboard because my string noticeboard is very haphazardly arranged. I want to put more articles like articles from The Personal Excellence Blog and articles on Sheikh Muszaphar and quotes that would make me feel more inspired when I look up, as I study. Right now I still have notes from Mr Yeo, Ms Lee and other friends leftover from the A levels. I won;t throw them away because I love them. They really give me the encouragement when I look up after having a break from studying. :)

Thanks Ikea, I know you'll have something to suit my needs. :)

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To Add On

1:15 AM Thursday, October 7, 2010

Lifelist:

#x see the sun set and rise from a mountain.

#x+1 climb to the peak of a mountain that is not totally transformed by modenisation like Tai Shan (Mt. Tai) in China, and see clouds below me

#x+2 experience meteor showers

God-willing, I'll complete #x and #x+1 this December. Death, especially that of Mrs LKY, made me realise how I never want to delay anything and just do whatever I want right now. Risks are always there, and predetermined. We must not be scared. If it is supposed to happen it's going to happen but still, God looks after us if we ask for help.

Lately, Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor and Mdm Kwa Geok Choo have been influencing me a lot... I am still yearning for his book to read.

The stars and nature continue to amaze me giving big and numerous questions and little answers.

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