At this point of time, I feel so insecure about the world... I am not insecure about who I am but sometimes I feel insecure about how others would treat me based on what I represent. Because all of us represent an image, an idea. That's how people make first impression.

And how I wish someone told me this years ago...just to give me strength.

“ Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. you have to know that you’re a good person & a good friend. what’s meant to be will end up good & what isn’t, wont. relationships are worth fighting for, but sometimes you cant be the only one fighting. at times, people need to fight for you. if they don’t, you must just move on & realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. hopefully, people realize great things when they come around & don’t lose something real. always fight until you cant anymore, & then be fought for. "


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I went for the official launch of Al-Mawrid library at Darul Arqam just now. As expected, even though I was invited as a guest, I had to help with last minute arrangements. This time, to tour the GOH who was Mr Zainal Abidin, around the library. I must say it was very VERY last minute and he speaks very well this mister. And the legion of people behind him was following closely. The MUIS guy was there too. So I just told them about the library. I don't think it was very good... could have told him more but Brother Meeran, Ustaz Omar, Maryam and Sufhyia were so impressed. Goodness, stop saying all that "saviour" stuff! hehehe.

I met an SMU Proffessor at the opening. He told us that SMU is going to open up a Islamic Law and Banking resouce centre in SMU. HEAR THAT JANNAH! haha :D Oh that sounds really cool. Andrew White. Professor Andrew White. How I really wanted to talk to him because guess what? He's a Muslim! Would you believe that? (well working at Arqam has taught me to be more open minded) And he brought these two adorable twins of his, Iris... and Andrew..the fourth! Nice... He told me how much Iris loves the rice and Andrew, the chicken at the buffet table. I was kicking myself inside cos I wanted to say that I'm going NUS soon but i just could. NOT. TWIST. my. MOUTH. OPEN. WHY? WHY? WHY? I bet he's researching on Islamic Law and Finance... ooh so cool. Maybe I should have went into Finance... ((urgh can't see myself in that direction))

I miss working there. It's like a condensed version of the world. A PhD Dr from Phillipenes, countless many people learning how to convert (though some just want to do it for the sake of human love, this I really am against), Muslims of countless race and nationalities and some are really beautiful beyond belief :D hehehe.. This is what I would like to do too. hahah :D but Arqam... needs to be changed. It took SIX months to make this official launch happen! I sincerely hope more people will come to the library. And you can photocopy books with your EX-LINK/CEPAS card! :D

Ah well... it's good to see my ideas taking shape, no matter how small.

And it's not nice that the mister did not thank me. HMPH. But since he talks so well and has a nice deep voice, I will forgive him.