NUS offered me a place at FASS on 29th March 2010. Alhamdulillah.

NUS called me to ask me to come down for an interview for the University Scholars Programme. Alhamdulillah.

NTU emailed me saying I am shortlisted for admission for WKWSCI. They are inviting me for a pre-admission talk. Alhamdulillah.

All praises to God. Only He sustains my life. Oh there were so many times I felt like I couldn't do it. So many times that I broke down. And I sought for people to make me feel better. I called them here and there. Some gave me the comfort that I needed, the words that I needed to hear. Some dissapointed me and make me feel worse. For these people I want to thank you. Thank you so much. Those people I sms-ed at 1 in the morning and immediately called me only to hear me sobbing hysterically on the phone saying I couldn't do it? Yes thank you. You really made the journey a bit easier.

Success. It's not all brought about by you. My mum helped me to remove the guilt I felt for not playing and taking care of Ilhan. Farah, even though she was also taking her PSLE, always played and entertained Ilhan when I felt too emotionally and mentally tired to entertain him. My aunt for always finding opportunities to bring Ilhan out of the house. Mum for the food. Teachers for answering the endless questions and tolerating the illogical brain that I had, ie: For example, the Borneo rainforest in Sumatra (after the nth essay preparing for GP paper). My MJI Clique for the laughter and for experiencing the same things with me. Shafienas, Jannah, Fazari, Shafiq, Siti, Sarah, Azrul, Musfirah, Fadhilah, Khai, ahh too many to name! Just seeing you all around in school was very comforting even though I didn't talk much to some of you for that period. Classmates were the best too at that time. Our class was so small it was lovely. Muhaina for listening to my complains and such.

And even though I doubt that many people will read this and I doubt even greater that one person will read this I need to thank Sean Ang for helping me with H1 Math. I was not the best student. I really do not like math. I didn't remember my formula and my steps. I was really illogical. I was moody. Thank you for still being the best unpaid math tutor. I must really say that I am really not a tuition person. I had tuition for a while in Sec 2 but my results were still the same. Heh. I didn't gain anything from it.

Thank you God for introducing these people to me. How would I have known? Thank you for aligning my thoughts to a certain way so that I would have positive energy. Thank you for putting me in a school with this kind of culture, not just the mugging but the people, so that I would be affected by positive energy. Arts stream was very nice, everyone basically knew a bit of everyone else. It was ok to smile. It was ok to chat. It was ok to just talk with trust. It was ok to speak your opinion. It was ok to get angry. There was no backstabbing. Yeah there were gossips and rumours but we didn't judge you cos of that. Our clique was tight. There was no hushed talk if you seperated from your class/clique to study or read up on your own. There was no one talking badly of you if you studied in the library. Or was it all my individualistic streak? Though I knew sometimes I knew waiting for others to agree to do something you want to do was nice so that you had someone to do it with, it was just a wasted opportunity waiting for someone, so I just went ahead on my own. But that was ok. Or was it just the way that I was built? Learning that others' words are just like dust, clouding your view but not really destructive.

Thank you God for giving me strength. All those times where the pain started from the middle of my palms to my heart and I had to press it to stop the pain and I thought no one could get it, I had you at the back of my head. When I think that no one could get it, a thought pops in my head on who I could approach and they would all respond. Thank you thank you. How can I not believe in you when you are the one that sustains me? How can I not remember you 5 times a day? Everytime, everytime I was lost, physically or mentally or emotionally there would always be a guide, a pointer. In Bangkok when the taxi driver who helped us when no adults was around and we were in a potentially dangerous situation (with police!), was Muslim. When I was feeling totally down and just finished praying in Sultan Mosque, a random makcik hugged me and urged me to study hard (I was in school uniform). Opportunities here and there of which are beneficial to me. These results which I didn't expect (or maybe didn't even deserve!). Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah... all praises to the One and Only God.

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