Only trying to make myself busy. Silence, loneliness makes it worse. Working with people so preoccupied with materialistic temporary shallow thoughts makes me feel lonely still.

Lonely darkness makes it worse.

Yesterday, I imagined living eternally with no known end. What would I do? I got scared. Existing existing existing. To live. To die. Dying makes living purposeful. But living for what. Why living? How will things change when you love without any knowledge that you would die one day? Will I still be human? What is this world? What am I supposed to do in this world? The very short time in which we live and do not know when we will be leaving. What happens after I die? What happens when I don't exist? My soul? What would I feel? Will I be asleep for a long time? Not feeling, knowing anything?

The day before I was at the mrt station and so many people were walking to their respective destinations and I felt so lonely.

And now I'm thinking it's a wonder that i'm thinking. How can I be able to think. Why should humans be given the capacity to think and feel?

I'm scared. And I have so many questions.